When I was very young, I remember receiving the big, thick Sears catalog in the mail. My siblings and I couldn’t wait for it to arrive and we would look through it for hours and circle all the toys we wanted Santa to bring us every year. Our lists were long and some of the items we circled were very expensive. We knew there was no way we would get everything, but there was always hope that we would receive our most favorite wishes.
Last Sunday marked the first Sunday of Advent. Advent is the period beginning four Sundays before Christmas and ending on Christmas Eve. During Advent, Christians prepare for and anticipate the coming of Christ, and each week is focused on one of four themes: Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. Beginning this week and ending on Christmas Day, I will attempt to put into words and reflect on what these virtues mean to me. For me, the Advent season is a special time of the year. There is a sense of wonder and anticipation in the air. Festive decorations and bright lights transform our streets, our stores, and our homes. One can’t help but feel hope, peace, joy, and love for the future.
In a previous blog, I wrote about a time in my life when I was unemployed and could not find a job for two years. During that time, I was approached for a consulting job with an organization with whom I had previously worked full-time. I was so excited…so hopeful. Not only did the phone call come at a time when I was most in need of employment, but the consulting job was perfect for me – utilizing my experience working in underserved communities and education. I could not have written a more perfect job description myself. Which is why I was heartbroken when I didn’t initially get the job. I didn’t even get a callback.
One definition of hope is a desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment. Many times, when we hope there is an air of confidence that what we are hoping for will come to pass. But what happens when it doesn’t? What happens when we don’t get that job? When we don’t get pregnant? When our health doesn’t get better? Many of us tend to shut down, have negative thoughts, and maybe even get depressed. And that’s common, right? If your hopes are dashed time and time again, you become worn down. That’s what happened to me. After hearing the word “no” for nearly two years, my positive, hopeful attitude was nonexistent. For me, there were only two things that could get me out of that depressive state: people and faith.
I was surrounded by people who lifted me up, consistently reminding me of my value and skills, and who loved me in spite of my poor attitude and negative thoughts. When I didn’t have hope, they gave it to me. As one psychologist stated, “Hope is motivation to stay in the game. A big part of that motivation comes from relationships with other people” (American Psychological Association). And that is what my family and friends did for me – they made sure I didn’t give up. But just as strong, was my faith. Hope and faith are often intertwined but are very different. It is my opinion that faith is the result of our current belief system. But hope is different. It is directed toward the future. In my situation, in spite of my disappointments, my hope remained in God. We may not always get what we want in the timeframe we want it, but as a believer, I have the faith that God is always with me in every situation and He is always working on my behalf.
Hope has been difficult for some to maintain recently. In the face of so many things we can’t fully control, like a pandemic where the numbers of those infected, hospitalized and even dying are rising every week, hope becomes elusive. And just like when I couldn’t find a job, we tend to feel overwhelmed. But what I finally realized is even though I could not control when I would get a job, there were things I could control. I could expand my network or look for other opportunities like the one where I was denied. Just because I didn’t get that position, didn’t mean there weren’t other similar opportunities. I believe hope has to be followed by action. It’s not a passive exercise in wishing, but an active approach to life (Polly Campbell). We may not be able to control the pandemic, but we can all wear our masks and socially distance. Life is hard and there will be obstacles that arise when we least expect it. A mentor of mine used to love saying, “We have plans and God laughs.” Having goals and plans will not always be enough. Throughout our lives, we will have to navigate around life’s obstacles, while still trying to get closer to our dreams. Hope allows us to approach life’s challenges with a strong mindset, turning a stressful situation into something successful while also learning valuable lessons along the way.
I have worked in underserved communities for over 30 years. I have seen hopelessness in the eyes of the families we served as they fought for the basic necessities by asking for food. I have heard the voice of hopelessness from my colleagues who felt the frustration of helping a family out of despair only to see them return a few months later. Just this week I’ve talked with two mothers, one who has been homeless since September and another whose house burned down several months ago and she and her children lost everything. Both apologized to me for their children having not attended school this year and being behind academically. My heart ached that they felt the need to apologize under such paralyzing circumstances. While it is easy to feel powerless, it is important to remember change can happen as long as we continue to hope. According to the famed hope researcher C.R. Snyder, “Hope implies that there is the possibility of a better future.” I continue to dare to hope that things can be better – in our communities, our cities, our world. That hope is what motivates me daily to ensure I am doing my part to make my city just a little bit better. It’s a powerful feeling. Hope has allowed me to connect on a deeper level to those I serve, to my colleagues, and to my God. My heart beats hope everlasting.