When I was a senior in high school, the senior trip was going skiing in Colorado over the Presidents Day holiday weekend. I had never been skiing, and knew absolutely nothing about skiing, but wanted to go badly. All students and teachers going on the trip would travel by bus and I was even looking forward to that ride. Although I knew my mother didn’t have the money, I begged her to let me go. She immediately said no because she said she didn’t have money to waste by buying all the items that I would need, yet never wear or use again. I told her that I would absolutely love skiing and it may become my new thing. Yeah, she didn’t believe it either. But the one thing my mother did believe, was ensuring her children had the same experiences and opportunities as other children. It’s one of the things I loved most about her. Growing up, we traveled around the United States in the summer, visiting other states and communities. She saved all year for those trips – sometimes two years. She would drive and we would travel for two to three weeks. My mother believed it was important for her children to learn history, see and interact with people who didn’t look like us or live like us and do things that other families who didn’t look like us, did all the time. In the end, she allowed me to go on the senior trip and although I decided I didn’t like skiing, I will be forever grateful that I had the opportunity to have the experience of skiing. It’s something I realized many children in my same circumstances didn’t have.
My current place of employment is working for a nonprofit located in the urban core of Kansas City, MO. The area boasts high crime, low incomes, and high unemployment. Part of my role is to plan, organize and oversee a summer academic program for children in kindergarten through eighth grades living in the surrounding area. One of our main goals for the program is to schedule activities, field trips, and experiences for children that they may not have experienced before. A couple of years ago, middle school students learned about all things Egypt in class for several weeks and ended with a field trip to the Nelson Atkins Museum to see the Egyptian exhibit in person. After the field trip, students wrote thank you letters for allowing them to attend the exhibit. Most of the letters relayed how the student had never attended a museum before. It immediately reminded me of why my mother saved all year to provide us with various experiences and why she allowed me to go skiing. Having various experiences allows us to dream and see ourselves differently than who we may really be. I wanted to go skiing because in my head I was envisioning myself on the slopes living my best life. I had made up a story in my head that I would begin vacationing in Colorado and ski on a regular basis with my best friends.
And even if families don’t have the money to travel or pay for various experiences, children can still have those experiences through books. Books were my first introduction to experiencing new things. I was able to lose myself in their surroundings and imagine I was the character, or at the very least, beside the character as he/she went through the drama of the story. That is the beauty of reading – not just for educational purposes, but the stories allow you to dream and picture yourself in the same setting, being that person and doing what he/she is doing.
I think it is so easy for us to take what we think as everyday experiences for granted. And I don’t mean just the experiences of traveling, but everyday “experiences” like having a birthday party, receiving an Easter basket, going to prom, even going to a nice restaurant. There are so many children who have never had the opportunity to engage in even the smallest experiences. And those experiences are part of our education – that’s how we learn to speak properly, use the correct utensils at dinner, or even know how to order from a menu. It’s another way of ensuring our young people have a well-rounded education. Education is not just in the history books or learning how to add and subtract. It’s about knowing how to behave in an environment that is new and unfamiliar to us.
It is important for children to know more than their neighborhood and speak to more than those who look just like them. When we know people, who are not like us, look different than us, worship differently than us, believe differently from us, and yes, even vote differently than us, it helps us remember that the world is a big place, and we need to go out and explore the massiveness of it all. If we can’t do it through actual experiences, then we need to do it through reading and talking to people who are not like us. It’s also how we become more compassionate people. It is by recognizing the magnitude of people in this world who have so many different life experiences than we do, can we begin to truly empathize with our fellow brothers and sister. And one good way of doing that is by helping our children, ourselves, and each other have as many first-time experiences as possible in our lifetime.
I was recently talking with a group of friends about dying. I mentioned that most of them had children who they could pass down values, beliefs, and stories. They knew their “legacy” would continue. For me, having no children, I wondered many times what my “legacy” would be after I’m gone. I think I’ve worked so much over the years, trying to ensure I leave this world a little better than it was when I arrived. And then I remembered my favorite memory. One would think it was a memory from my childhood, a favorite gift, or a moment with my mother. No. My favorite memory is when I took four high school children to Miami, Florida. For three of them, it was the first time they had ever flown on an airplane. When we arrived in Miami, as soon as we unpacked, I promised them a trip to the beach. As soon as we got to the beach, one of them stopped in the sand and just stared out at the ocean. He stood there for about five minutes, just looking out at the water. Abruptly, he quickly ran to the edge of the water to dip his feet. As the salty water splashed over his feet, I stood back and just watched. All of a sudden, he turned around and ran full force at me, and gave me a huge hug that lasted quite a while. As he composed himself, he whispered in my ear, “Thank you”. You see, it was his first time ever standing on the beach and seeing the ocean.
As long as I live, I will never forget that moment. Growing up, my mother made sure that I had the opportunity to know what it felt like to wiggle my toes in the sand and run out into the ocean waters. I had forgotten that not everyone has those experiences. I’m sure my mother felt like I did on that beach watching the children play in the sand and water for the first time in their lives. There’s a burst of joy in your heart as you watch, knowing they will remember the moment for their lifetime and maybe even share it with others over time…and hopefully, create other first-time experiences for their loved ones. We must remember to create these opportunities for those around us. It’s never too late and we are never too old to have a first-time experience. What haven’t you done yet?