When I was in my early 20’s, I worked for the local Housing Authority. We had recently gone through some changes and I was promoted. There was a woman from the regional HUD office that decided to take me under her wing and mentor me. She told me that I had natural leadership abilities and was smart. She said she wanted to “teach me some things”. We began spending time together – she took me to fundraisers and community events, and dinner at nice restaurants. We talked about everything. I had already built up a love of politics and social issues, and my mentor had a love of debating various issues. We spent time discussing the state of our world, as well as our community. I cherished that time. I learned so much. I learned early on about my passions and how I wanted to make a difference in my community and city. I also learned all the social etiquette, like wine, the value of “small talk”, speaking in front of a group of people, and showing confidence even when I was shaking inside. At a time when I was impressionable at the beginning of my career, it was a blessing having someone guide, support, and encourage me to figure out my passions and goals.
The year 2020 has already been filled with so much loss, but I have to admit, the loss last week of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was gut-wrenching for me. As someone who has followed social causes and issues for many years, it felt like women had lost our biggest mentor and hero. As I’m sure you have all heard and read by now, RBG was a champion and advocate for many women’s issues in her lifetime. She was the first woman professor tenured at Columbia Law School and helped found the American Civil Liberties Union’s Women’s Rights Project and won five out of six cases to the Supreme Court before she was appointed to the Supreme Court in 1993. Because of RBG, women can now have a credit card in their own name, without a male signor, women can be an administrator of a deceased person’s estate, and you can’t discriminate against pregnant women and mothers in the workplace, as well as many other rights that we now take for granted. ACLU’s tribute to RBG stated in part, “While singular in her achievements, she was far from alone in her pursuits and received much support from talented, dedicated women along the way”. I love this because it reminds us that even women as strong as RBG, need help and support from other women.
Several years ago, I was in a meeting with a woman that I had first met back in the 1990s. We had both continued to work for nonprofits in the urban community over the years. As we discussed partnering on several projects, it occurred to me that we were having the same conversation that we had nearly 30 years ago. I asked her what had we done wrong – why were we still fighting the same issues we fought so long ago? Her answer was one that has stuck with me and continues to propel me in my work today. She said we didn’t find our replacement. We hired people, but we didn’t hire those that had the passion we had. We didn’t mentor them, show them the ropes, explain why this work matters. We did not ensure that the person working beside us could, or had the desire to, continue the work we started all those years ago. And until that happened, we were going to continue to meet with each other and have these same conversations over and over. Maybe working for a different organization, but still doing the same work.
That conversation has haunted me for the last several years. As I’ve thought about my years working, I’ve had some wonderful female supervisors and colleagues. Some have supported and nurtured me as I grew and learned about the work, the community, and most importantly myself. Sadly, I’ve also had more that, for whatever reason, didn’t support me, hindered my progress, and abused their power. Unfortunately, in my experience, many female colleagues and supervisors tend to have more of a competitive spirit, feeling the need to challenge, demean and criticize instead of uplift, encourage, and collaborate. And I don’t place all the blame on women. In many organizations, women hold just a few leadership positions. If you are looking to move up in a company where you know there will be a limited number of opportunities, one is more likely to do whatever they can to get that spot – even if that means not supporting your fellow female. And once we get that leadership role, our focus becomes on keeping that position, so the last thing you think about is helping someone who has the potential of taking the position from you. And it’s not just in the workforce. Women tend to be more critical of their fellow females in other areas too. Friends have shared stories about being criticized by other mothers for their parenting choices. And how many women criticized Hilary Clinton for staying when her husband cheated? I’ve seen women gossip about other women and call other women derogatory names for their bold behavior and bold words but remain silent and consider it normal for men.
I don’t know why it’s hard for some women to support other women. I think it’s easy to overlook. Women’s issues tend to not be at the forefront of one’s mind. When looking for causes to support, we think of race, LGBTQ+, guns, and healthcare issues most recently. And that’s because women like RBG broke doors down for us long ago. RBG was one of nine women in a law class of 500 students. Now, law classes are almost 50% women (Center for American Progress). But there is still so much work left to do. Today, women make up just 5% of CEOs on the Fortune 500 list and hold only 19% of the 1500 board seats at those Fortune 500 companies. Only 24% of Congress members are women, 23% in the Senate, and 18% are governors (Center for American Progress). Unfortunately, I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
I would argue that the only way to ensure women continue to progress and are “in all places where decisions are being made”, as RBG famously said, women need to continue the fight for women’s rights RBG so generously began many years ago. We need to fight and continue to demand equal pay to our male counterparts. We need to demand an equal number of seats in leadership positions. We need to mentor, collaborate and support other women. And we need to guide and teach the young women who are coming behind us. Just as I was educated in the history and issues of the community and our country, we need to have those same types of conversations with younger women. Knowing what others did to pave the way for us not only provides us with a sense of pride, but it almost demands that we continue their work, so as not to let their work be in vain. There is an ongoing joke in my current place of employment that I am not allowed to interview people by myself. It never fails that I will meet some young female who is just beginning her career and the interview will invariably get off-course because I will begin questioning the young lady about her views, goals, and future. After the interview, my response is always, “I want to adopt her.”
What I have come to realize is that as far as women have come, there is still so much more work to do. In our companies, in our communities, and in our country. And I believe when women mentor other women, we can expand our network to all areas. And when women support other women, we are more successful. Research suggests that when women lead companies, more attention is paid to equality policies and practices. For all the glass ceilings RBG broke to ensure equality, we as women not only owe her a debt of gratitude, but we owe it to her to continue the fight. CNN’s Poppy Harlow interviewed RBG and asked, “There will be enough female justices on the Supreme Court when?” RBG answered, “When there are nine, of course.”