My first grant in my first job as a grant writer was eventful. I somehow fell into the job after my company reorganized. I had no experience and barely knew the definition of a grant. My company hired someone to give me a quick tutorial and he was a wonderful grant writer and person. He was kind, patient, calm, thorough, and had a great sense of humor – everything a successful grant writer should be. When I was given my new job, a huge federal grant was due in 30 days. I now realize that’s a lifetime in grant terms, but at the time I thought I would never be able to learn everything I needed to know and write a grant for $400,000 in a month’s time. It was the most stressful and invigorating time in my young career. As terrified as I was, I was also energized by the challenge of it all. This money basically funded my entire department at the organization. If we weren’t awarded funding, they would probably have to reduce staff, as well as discontinue programs. Nothing like that kind of added pressure for someone in a new role. The month went by fast and I finally submitted the grant application. There was a huge sense of relief and accomplishment. Soon after submission, we received a phone call from the federal office letting us know of a mistake on the application. They informed us that this mistake may disqualify us from grant funds. They would research the rules and get back to us in a couple of days. I was devastated. The thought that I had made a mistake so seemingly insignificant, but could affect the future of an entire department was mind-blowing. The guilt that I had let down my team, my organization, myself…well, it was unnerving. But that same team is who lifted me up in those two days of waiting. They never let me forget that regardless of the outcome, it would be okay. They praised the work I had accomplished in such a short period of time, and like any good team member, tried to place the blame on the federal government instead of me. Fortunately, it all worked out well and we were awarded the $400,000 grant. But I learned valuable lessons during that time – the obvious one being about double (and triple checking your work), but also about being part of a team and giving people second chances after they make a mistake.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a Chiefs fan. Okay, that may be stating it too lightly, it’s an all-encompassing type of love. It’s hereditary – my mother was a huge fan and she made sure I became a huge fan (the same reason why the movie The Godfather is one of my all-time favorites). There is something about each year’s team that I love, and this year’s team is no different. In the recent AFC Championship game, Mecole Hardman fumbled the ball at a critical time in the game. Like me with my grant, I’m sure he felt like he let his team down and was likely frustrated with his lack of focus. But his teammates didn’t let him wallow in that self-pity. Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes immediately got in his ear and told him they would bounce back, he would make more plays, and they would be alright. And to show they still believed in him, when the offense was back on the field, Mahomes gave Hardman another chance and passed the ball repeatedly to him, where he eventually scored a touchdown.
I would hazard a guess that all of us have received a second chance throughout our lives. We may have had the opportunity to receive extra credit after a low score on a test in school. A friend or family member forgave us at some point for the harsh words we used. Some of us have had second chances at finding love after a break-up. So why is it that we are sometimes so unwilling to give someone a second chance when we have been on the receiving end of a second chance so many times in our own lives?
It is my belief that throughout our journey in life, we are meant to learn certain lessons. One way we learn those lessons is through our mistakes. And as the saying goes, we will continue to repeat the same mistakes if we don’t learn the lesson. I can definitely attest to this, having continually made the same mistakes in financial matters and love in my younger years. I’ve often wondered how different my life would now be if I had learned some of those lessons a little sooner. But the other side of that is how different would my life now be if I hadn’t gotten a second chance – a do-over? What if we had to sit in the consequences of our mistakes for the rest of our lives? Never having the opportunity to make amends or learn the lesson. Some do. There are thousands of men and women in our prisons who made one mistake and now must live with that mistake for the rest of their lives, with no opportunity for a second chance outside of prison bars.
We spend much of our lives trying to avoid making mistakes. The biggest argument I had with my mother was due to her trying to help me not make the same mistakes she made. Although she raised valid points in her rationale and advice to me, even at a young age I was aware that I needed to walk my own path, make my own mistakes and learn from them. But my mother, like so many, viewed mistakes as negative rather than understanding their importance. We have ingrained in our minds that mistakes mean we have done something wrong or failed in some way. But if that mistake then leads us to a second chance to try a little harder, communicate a little better, love a little harder, and be a better person, isn’t it worth it? Changing from your mistake is vital. It means you’ve worked to think, feel, and conduct yourself differently.
Years ago, I quit my job to start my own 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. It was my goal to change my city on my terms. I was tired of the same organizations receiving all of the money from foundations without really putting in the effort (my opinion) and vowed that I would do things differently. Better. I was young and arrogant. Although I was able to get my new organization up and running, it didn’t last long as I soon realized that I didn’t know as much as I thought, and starting your own nonprofit was no small task. I was not only embarrassed but believed I was a major failure. However, as I’ve gotten older, I now look at that time in my life differently. I believe it takes courage to admit when we don’t get something right the first time. Learning from your mistake means that you acknowledge it and are willing to take responsibility for your part in the mistake. And once you own it, you then have the opportunity to reach and teach others. The mistakes I made in starting my nonprofit provided wonderful teachable moments to a young lady I mentored 15 years later as she was beginning her own nonprofit. There is a saying, “Luckily for us, sometimes we get another chance to do something right the second time”. At some time in our lives, we have all been afforded the opportunity of a second chance. Hopefully, when we got that chance, we weren’t the same. We grew and became wiser. So, when we see someone needing that second chance, let us be the first to offer them some grace, motivation and love.