My mother was a huge Chiefs fan. She watched them play from the beginning and as she would say, had her heart broken by them every year. It’s no wonder I became a big Chiefs fan. And every game I was sitting beside my mother yelling, cheering, and screaming. It was tradition – go to church, stop at the store for chips and soda, and drive to Mom’s house and sit side by side in recliner chairs. I remember I was out of town for work during the infamous game between the Chiefs and Broncos and Joe Montana was our quarterback. The game was an unbelievable win for the Chiefs, and I called my mother on the phone from my hotel room, screaming and laughing at the same time. Even though it was after midnight, I knew she’d still be up watching. The year my mother died, I didn’t think I could watch the Chiefs play that season. She died in mid-July, right before Chiefs training camp. It was too soon, too difficult, too painful, and too many memories. In the first game of that season, I was home and decided not to watch the game. I was lost in thought, cleaning my house with no television or radio turned on. As I was sweeping the floors in the master bathroom, the radio in my bedroom suddenly came on and it was on a station that was playing the Chiefs game. I literally stopped and stared at the radio. It was actually my radio/alarm clock that I bought several years ago. The time read 12:03pm. The start of the Chiefs game. I will never forget it. I stared at the clock with the radio playing the Chiefs game. The radio that I had never used. In all the years I had the clock, I had never turned on the radio. And it was now on – on a station playing the first Chiefs game of the season. The game I told myself I wasn’t going to watch without my mother. It felt like a sign from my mother telling me that although she wasn’t there, I still needed to support our team. I turned off the radio, turned on the television, and watched the Chiefs game.
Many Christian churches observe All Saints Day, a time to remember and pray for those who have died in the last year, as well as other loved ones who have come before us and have since died. The Christian festival of All Saints Day comes from a conviction that there is a spiritual connection between those in Heaven and on Earth (Christianity.com). I’ve always believed there was a connection between us and those who have departed. When our loved ones die, we are told they will always be with us and we will know when they are around. But how do we know if these signs are our loved ones or just a coincidence? Coincidence – the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection. Sometimes things happen to us and we brush it off as a coincidence. But what if it isn’t? What if it’s actually a sign from a loved one on the other side?
When I was very young, we lived in a house that I don’t remember. And I am glad of it! My two sisters said the house was haunted. My sisters both tell a story of an overweight gentleman with a child visiting them at night. They would just sit on their beds. The older gentleman would smoke a pipe or cigar and the boy would have a lollipop in his mouth; neither said a word. My mother said both of my sisters approached her at different times with this same story. It happened several times and each time they would tell my mother. My mother believed them too. She said at times, I would sit on her lap and point down the stairs and just laugh and laugh. She would look and there was nothing there, but I would continue to point and laugh. Coincidence? Maybe, but that, along with my sisters’ story of the man and little boy made everyone in my family a believer that the house was haunted.
Maybe seeing that man and a little boy all those years ago piqued the interest of my sister in what happens after death. For years she has read, researched, attended workshops, and taught classes about our connection to those who have passed. To be honest, initially, I was a little doubtful of the thought that those who have passed give us clues that they are still around, watching over us. But over the years, too many “coincidences” have happened. Like the time I attended a memorial service for a young man I once knew who died tragically. After the service, I got in my car and just sat there talking to him. As soon as I told him I loved him, my dashboard lights flashed on. This was weird as I had not yet started my car. Coincidence? Or the time I was talking to my mother, letting her know I missed her, and my clock flashed 5:22 – my mother’s birthday. Coincidence? Or the time I was driving, got distracted and would have hit the car in front of me if not for my car automatically stopping with barely an inch to spare and I could feel my car “lift” slightly, helping me to not hit the car in front of me. And no, it wasn’t one of the newer cars that will stop for you. Coincidence?
I’m sure there will be people who have perfectly rational explanations for each of those events, as well as for the story I told at the beginning of the blog about the radio coming on with the Chiefs game. But what if those aren’t coincidences? I have so many more examples of weird things happening. Because once the unexplained happens, you become more open to the possibility that your loved ones are around and sometimes communicating with us. Close to 200 people in the 9/11 community recounted stories of “goose-bump” experiences. So many stories that one person wrote a book called “Messages: Signs, Visits, and Premonitions from Loved Ones Lost on 9/11”. One was a story about a woman whose husband died on 9/11. They had a ritual where her husband whistled “A Penny For Your Thoughts, A Nickel For A Kiss” and then would joke about what a quarter would be. It became their private joke. After he died, the wife said she started finding quarters everywhere, and in the strangest places. For example, she would get up out of bed to check on the children and when she returned to the bed, a quarter would be on her mattress. She was convinced that the coins were a message from her husband, letting her know of his love and that he was around.
When weird, unexplained things happen, it’s easy for us to either ignore it or rationalize why or how it happened. But there is something comforting about believing that a bond we share with a loved one is so strong that even in death it cannot be broken. And each experience has the potential to not only touch us but to change and even transform us. We just need to pay attention to our surroundings. Experts say several signs that a deceased loved one may use to connect with you are scents, dreams, flickering lights, numbers, coins, or technology. I have come to realize that I have been blessed to have loved and been loved by many people in my life. The amount of grief I’ve endured over the years when a loved one has died just emphasizes the amount of love we shared and the connection we had. I believe that kind of love and connection doesn’t die when the person dies. The signs I have received and continue to receive are their way of letting me know they are still watching over me, loving me, and supporting me. Open your heart and mind to the possibility that we really can receive messages from beyond.