An organization recently polled 2,000 people on behalf of Bubbies Ice Cream and 83% said the little things bring the most joy to their lives, and 72% experience more of these joys in the summertime. Number one on the list was seeing a loved one after being apart from them. Close behind was sleeping in a newly made bed, feeling the sun on your face, and scoring a freebie. Of the 30 greatest little joys, many shared a theme – desserts. Chocolate melting in your mouth and letting yourself have a treat in the evening, to name a few. Other joys that made the list include the first sip of coffee in the morning and video chatting with loved ones. It’s worth noting that 78% of people said that these little joys have been more important in the last few months than ever before.
If I’m honest, like many of you, I’m soul tired. I’m drained. I’m sad, and at times, scared. And I’m angry. In these last few months, we have experienced more than I thought a human could. We’ve seen the death of loved ones, while many times not being able to see them prior to their passing. We are in the midst of a global pandemic with no end in sight, and as I write this blog, Hurricane Laura has made landfall while those evacuating don’t know what to fear most – the hurricane or the possibility of succumbing to COVID-19 in the shelters. We are scared and uncertain as to what the right thing to do with our children and the school opening. Many have lost their jobs or are in fear of losing their job. Some of us are working even more hours as our work life adjusts to the pandemic and society’s changing needs. We have an upcoming election and rhetoric is at an all-time high. And we are seeing on an ongoing basis, video of Black men and women being harmed and murdered by over-zealous police officers and vigilante individuals. Unfortunately, I could list many more things, but just seeing them on paper affects my mood.
I consider myself a religious and spiritual person. And although I believe in God, I have to admit there are times that I worry about our country and wonder if I have enough faith in the belief that we can love our way out of all of this. I would describe myself as a pretty positive person, yet I now find myself struggling to maintain a hopeful attitude.
My mother used to say that she worked so she could take vacations. When I was little, my mother would take me and my three siblings on a big vacation every other year. We drove because Mom couldn’t afford airfare for all of us and we went every other year because it would take her that long to save enough money. Because we drove, we were gone for two or three weeks. Now that I’m an adult, I am amazed she was able to do it. The expense of gas, hotels, and meals at restaurants every day for three weeks is a lot. Add to that the cost of all the activities, entry fees, souvenirs, etc. and I now understand why it took her so long to save. We went everywhere. The Alamo, Disneyland and Disneyworld, and Mount Rushmore to name a few. I remember watching Mom take a map with a marker and draw out the route she would drive. She would look at that map daily for months leading up to a trip. You see, mapping the routes of those trips and reviewing them daily brought her little joys. And I would get so excited the night before we left that I was barely able to sleep. Our clothes would be set out because Mom would wake us up at 4:00am so we could be on the road by 5:00am. We would load up the car with snacks and different car games, books, and activities to keep us busy on long drives. We would stop at some motel by 5:00pm each day until we got to our destination. I don’t think anything brought me more joy growing up than those vacations.
Many years ago, I was watching The Oprah Winfrey Show and she was interviewing Sarah Ban Breathnach who introduced the concept of gratitude journals. I was intrigued. As a person who wrote in journals, the idea of a gratitude journal was appealing. Her idea was for each day list at least five things for which you were grateful. She said initially it may be difficult and some days, all you may be able to be thankful for would be breathing, but she guaranteed that in just a few weeks your attitude would change, and you would feel more joy. I decided to give it a try. I purchased her book and correlating journal and each night before going to bed, I began to list five things that I was grateful for that day. Some days were rough, but soon I found myself looking for things throughout the day to write in my journal. I remember one day I saw this lone, colorful flower in the midst of a bunch of weeds. I stopped in my tracks and just looked at it and smiled. I remember thinking that seeing that lone flower would be an entry in my journal that evening. I felt…hopeful. As the weeks went by, I noticed my attitude changing – I was more positive and joyful. Since that time, I have continued to keep gratitude journals. I’ve missed some months here and there, but I have many journals from years ago filled with gratitude. As Sarah Ban Breathnach mentioned, there have been days, especially recently, when my gratitude has been limited. But what I have come to realize is that most days, just like that lone flower, if you look for things for which to be grateful, you will find them.
Because joy is there. And because many times joy is found in the little things, it can sometimes be hard to find. But if you pay close attention, it’s all around us. I will admit now that I am a bit of a news junkie. I watch news shows all the time and read various news articles daily. Partly, because I love hearing and reading about what is being done in other cities, hoping it can somehow help or give me an idea about something that I am currently working on or could possibly do here in my city. Also, since in my current position I write grants, I’m always looking for relevant research. I recently read a 2019 study by the Pew Research Center that stated that 46% of low-income Americans don’t have a computer and 44% of them don’t have access to the internet at home. And just as my heart began to feel sad about these statistics, there was a news story about two young boys who were taking old computers and refurbishing them, and giving them to families in their community who were in need due to virtual school. Other organizations are also purchasing new computers for families for the same reason. Because of these generous people, children will now be able to stay home and complete school assignments. I am so grateful for these generous souls. They are not only giving joy to the families they are helping, but to people like me who when hearing this story, feels joy and hope about our society and future.
During these times when there is much despair and anxiety, it is imperative for us to remember the little joys in life. There will be days when they may be difficult to find, but if you look around and listen, the joys will be abundant. Write them down or share them with others. Sometimes I look back and read some of my old gratitude journals and I feel the same joy and hopefulness that I experienced back then. Joy is all around us. It’s in the big events that happen throughout our lives, but it’s also in the little joys in our presence every day. For me, it’s the sound of a child’s laughter. Catching all green lights on the way home. The first sip of Stella Rosa wine. The smell of a dog’s paws. Writing this blog. What are your little joys?